So I wrote a poem...

While looking through an old journal of mine, I stumbled upon a poem I wrote on 9/22/2009...So I thought I'd share...Hope you like it!!!!

My Makeup

My makeup hides my mood, it's a lie.

My makeup disguises the way I feel inside.

Without I look cool, fabulous, and fly,

but within, I could just break down and cry.

Depression, oppression, what is this I'm feeling?

There are walls all around and above me no glass ceiling.

Is this my fate? Is this all life will be for me? 

Giving up ME to do for my family?

I used to have BIG dreams...FADE...

I have visions now, or are they just notes on a page?

How do I believe again when they seem so far out of my grasp?

Should I just accept that they are wishes? 

Like smoke from a birthday candle, they'll pass?

There has to be more for me!

I don't know how.

There has to be more for me!

Maybe just not now....

That's what I keep telling myself.

It's just not my time.

One day I'll have the FREEDOM to do more...

More time, more energy, more HELP!

In the dark of the night into my pillow I SCREAM!!!

Letting the pillowcase dry my tears.

You're my best friend, and you don't feel me.

You're my best friend, and I don't feel your support.

You're MY -- BEST -- FRIEND!!!!

At least that's what I thought....

You don't see my value,

You dismiss my wisdom for just talk.

I am a TREASURE that you would be proud of, if only you could really 

SEE ME, FEEL ME, HEAR ME!

But it's coming though..My day will be here soon.

And when it does, I won't push you aside or make you feel I don't need you.

So I'll continue to wear my makeup, to hide the pain I feel inside.

Until my inside feels as beautiful as my outside, and my makeup is 

no longer a lie.

©Copyright 2009 Dera4life productions

Back in the day....

So I guess I can just consider myself 'old school' now because I find myself saying more often, "remember back in the day when...."  I'm not that old, I'm only 30*bleep*, but things sure did seem to change drastically in certain areas of life.

Today's 'back in the day when' moment happened when I saw this young girl, still in high school, wearing a wig....a BAD one I might add.  Now I'm not knocking anyone for wearing wigs whether out of necessity or out of a sense of fashion, but when did they start wearing them soooo young?

When I was in high school, the most someone would do is put a track or two of weave in their hair, or add extensions for braids or cornrows....but man, these girls now have full on lace front wigs, in every color of the rainbow, down their back, etc. etc.  (A lot of them also dress like 'shoe models', but that's a whole other story...smh).  N-e-way...again, do you with your doo, but when it doesn't even look like it could, in the slightest possible way, be your real hair, doesn't compliment your skin tone, or starts looking like a family of birds and a couple of thieving squirrels live in it, DON'T DO IT!!!!!

My husband often rants about girls and women wearing bad wigs and wonders why they don't have folks that love them enough to say, 'hey, that's not a good look on you.'  The more I see, the more inclined I am to help him form the 'Bad Wigs Be Gone' group that he threatens to make every month.

The right hair can do wonders for your overall look....I know, b/c for years my mom wore wigs...it started b/c of a bad hair cut and then she just got used to the ease of being able to throw it on and go and not have to fuss over her own hair.  But last year, she decided to begin just wearing her own hair again and it literally took YEARS off of her appearance and she gets oooo's and aaahhhh's all over the place about  how beautiful her hair is.

In closing, if you can/will do it right, do your doo boo! But please, please, please don't let your friend walk around thinking she's fly with a busted head of 'hur.' Girls, don't add years to your appearance....it's ok to want to look a little older, but not ok to look old and tired...and keep a great friend or family member around who is secure enough in your relationship to tell you the truth about your look. Ok?  ~END RANT~

Bis Später!!!