I'm only human

I'm having a moment. I don't want to do the 'right thing,' I want to do the mean and spiteful thing that shows them how I feel....unappreciated, taken for granted, disrespected, devalued! But I can't go through with it. It's not the good in me, it HAS TO BE the Holy Spirit. That still, small voice that broke through my angry thoughts to say, 'You know that's not the right thing to do. Those actions will only bind you, not them. The Word says not to return evil for evil.' I'm so thankful for the Holy Spirit and His guidance, He keeps me in line even when my flesh doesn't want to be. Ok....end rant... Bis Spӓter <3 <3 <3

When I grow up...

All day my 5 yr old has been talking about what she wants to be when she grows up. She finally settled on being a Dr.(palientologist(sp) to be exact) and an Opera singer. So on the way home from dinner out, she asked her brother and sister what they wanted to be. Then she asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. (What she meant was after I was no longer a stay at home mom). Well my husband and I laughed a little and I told her that I didn't know. But after a few minutes to think about it I told her that I wanted to grow up to be a great woman of faith. My son asked what I meant by that and I told him that I wanted a prayer life so strong that I was confident that when I prayed my prayer was heard and answered. That my prayers caused situations to change because I was praying God's will. It kind of surprised me to hear myself say that, because my usual answer would have been 'take some photography or culinary classes.' But I really feel that this is the direction that my life is going in once my youngest (2) is in school. If I'm right, I'm excited about seeing where it leads. What do you want to be when you grow up? Bis spater <3 <3 <3

Taking a step to better health..

So, I've decided to quit soda, cold turkey starting today. My cravings for soda and sweets have been so strong lately that I feel I need to do this so that I don't become totally addicted. I know its hormonal but I can't use that as a crutch because its negating all the weight that I've lost. I have to move forward and this use my first step.

Eventually, I want to move into clean eating.....at least 5 days a week without meat, then to fish only and then maybe to vegetarianism.....one step at a time though O_o.

But as far as my new challenge for myself, I will try my best to update often.

Bis später! <3 <3

********Update*******

It's 8 days later and......I am still soda free!!!! Yay me!!!! Day 1 and 2 were the hardest because I had to go grocery shopping and they had those one liter sodas on sale for .99 and the second day we took our oldest daughter out to lunch, and I have always associated eating out with drinking soda. But I triumphed and am still going strong...So proud of me!!! :-)

Maybe after the Thanksgiving holiday, I can try to start this Maker's Diet....maybe...

Bis später! <3 <3

Losing weight is SOOO HARD...or is it just me?

Ugggghhhh! Weight loss is so hard, or maybe it's just me.  I mean I know I have a few flaws about myself that may be working against me such as procrastination, horrible self-discipline, and the uncanny power to talk myself out of working out and doing something else 'important' instead. And I know that is what has plagued me in the past to lose this baby weight. Yes, even though my youngest child is 2, it is baby weight because I never lost the excess weight from any of my 3 pregnancies. Why?  Because after my first child, every time I would get serious about working out and losing the weight, I'd get pregnant again.  Don't laugh, it's true. So after my third child, I was determined that I was done having kids and that fear of getting healthy and getting my blood flowing, which seems to make me extra fertile, kept me from even attempting to get busy ridding myself of this gut.  


Fast forward a year and a half after having my 3rd child and I stepped on a scale.....OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWEEEEEEEE! I HATE SCALES! THEY ARE THE DEBBIL! I, who weighed only 135 lbs when I got married in 2000, was about 3 lbs shy of 200 lbs IN 2010...WTHeck!!!???  How did I let myself go like that?  Why didn't I see it happening?  I tried to find pictures of myself, when I realized all the pics I was in only got me from the chest up.  Why? Because I am an amateur photographer and I was always the one taking the pics.  Well, that took the wind out of me for about a week.  And after my pity party, I decided to get busy and get my self (maybe not at 135 lbs) back, but I knew I didn't want to be this heavy anymore.


It was a slow start...and I mean sllloooooowwwwww.  And it was because I was a procrastinator, I had no self-discipline, and I could easily make some other task more important than working out.  And for months, nothing changed...and rightly so, because I hadn't changed my mindset. I first had to work on me.


So I got busy.  I decided to keep a schedule and to make working out a part of my day like having a task to do at work.  So I set alarms on my phone for working out and other tasks of my day to keep me focused and so that working out would become automatic and routine.  And by doing this, I began to see progress.  The inches started coming off, and my clothes fit looser.  I have even gotten comments from family members and moms at my daughter's school about how good I look and how much weight I've lost.  And you know what those comments do for my self-esteem....boost boost boost!  And it also helps me on those mornings when my sheets cuddle me extra cuddly and my pillow cradles my head like a strong lover in a romance novel..  :-)


Now, I can say that I am seeing results.  The inches are melting away and I have more energy.  I feel better about myself and the way I look.  I am nowhere near where I want to be (b/c scales are the debbil), but I'm on my way.  I'm just being patient and anticipating the day when I am comfortable enough to post that before and after pic for the world to see.  Bis später! <3 <3